Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Good for the Heart

The outdoor table, draped in a heavy layer of frost, reflected light like a veil of sequins and pearls. I didn't take a picture because I was enjoying a leisurely breakfast with our granddaughter, laughing and chatting about her five year old world. Didn't want to lose the moment.

The morning sun, beaming in through the window, bounced a giant shadow of the houseplant on to the wall. I saw the way the light glowed off the bananas, hung on their ripening hook. No photos, I regretted, and the next two mornings were cloudy and gray.
[These photos are from a few days later, when the sun came out again]

I was kicking myself (do you do that - the bad mouth lectures to yourself?) about not taking enough pictures, and I realized, a photo is just a piece of something I noticed, something that caught my eye, some little thing I saw from life around me, a representation of something I can share, wondering if others will see it, too. A record, a memory.

The heart of the matter, the important thing, is, did I see, really see, it?

The photo is an afterthought, a memory of something already seen or learned. On this trip, I haven't had time to journal or write or read (other than airport and plane time), or write in my 1,000 Gifts List either. We've been busy with the most important things.  Seeing, and being grateful are not dependent on writing them down. In my heart and head, I can see and appreciate and enjoy this time with children and grandchildren without leaving "hard copy."

The time here has been full. Back and forth to the hospital, mom home now and recovering well. Baby, at nine pounds, twelve ounces is strong and healthy, growing and adjusting. Reading books together, snuggled in the big chair, and listening to our granddaughter read (big sister, now). Playing kitchen (and actually cooking in the real kitchen). Drawing and writing cards together. Talking about life's choices and challenges. Playing games (Qwirkle is our new favorite). This is a reminder to take these jam-packed moments, to listen and look and absorb all I can. To not miss all there is in this moment. It is not about the picture taking or the writing. It is about the heart, my heart, seeing and learning and living and loving.

Did you see the sticker on the bananas?
"Bueno para el corazon."
"Good for the heart." 

1 comment:

  1. This is what I needed. This reality check. For my heart. When we saw our daughter last summer, she accused me of taking pictures of everything and not seeing anything - especially her. She didn't say that last part, but I heard it anyway.

    I have to work hard to really see without turning everything in to a writing project. I loved hearing about how you lived - really lived! - in your granddaughter's 5 year old world. And you didn't miss a thing!

    Congratulations on the beautiful, new baby!