Day Thirty-One

Thirty-One, A Novel

Day One
Day Two  
Day Three
Day Four
Day Five
Day Six
Day Seven
Day Eight
Day Nine
Day Ten
Day Eleven
Day Twelve
Day Thirteen
Day Fourteen
Day Fifteen
Day Sixteen
Day Seventeen
Day Eighteen
Day Nineteen
Day Twenty
Day Twenty-One
Day Twenty-Two
Day Twenty-Three
Day Twenty-Four
Day Twenty-Five
Day Twenty-Six
Day Twenty-Seven
Day Twenty-Eight
Day Twenty-Nine
Day Thirty
Each short chapter is posted in daily order on wordsbymo.blogspot.com

Day Thirty-One, Wednesday

Morgan stood at the front window, her afternoon coffee cup wrapped snugly in her hands. October thirty-first.  The house across the street was quiet, empty, closed. It would have been a bustle of activity tonight. But they were gone, the house, deserted. Joey nuzzled at her feet.

Thirty-one days ago she stood here, wondered what it would take to make life different, full, rather than quiet and empty. Nothing earth-shattering had happened. No cataclysmic events. But she was different. 

Her pretty journal sat on the coffee table. She sat down on the couch, picked it up with the pen next to it. Joey leaned against her knee, looked up at her. “Hey girl,” she said as she scratched her forehead. She wrote.

I am different.

Thirty-one days ago I wondered how I would survive this month. The discouragement, the alone, the quiet was overwhelming.

I have survived. I have changed. I have stepped out, and I am alive.

Never, would I have suspected that my new friends would be in their nineties, in an old folk’s home, and that I don’t even think of it as an old folk’s home. I think of it as their home, because they are there.

Never would I have suspected that a neighbor family would draw me in so closely. And leave me such a gift, this puppy at my feet.

Surprising, how my home, my life, has filled with life. Fresh foods, flowers, and now a puppy.

Amazing to me, my days are full and happy (Well, not today. Missing Nancy and her busy household terribly).

I have a future.

I am not alone.

What I thought was the end, a period, an exclamation point of finality, was a pause, a deep breath, a page turned, a big step into a new chapter of my on-going story. 

You know how you strike a match, and there is a pause, a waiting, a moment before it flickers and sparks? You wonder if it took, or if you need to strike it again. Then, it flames up and catches you by surprise. I feel the flicker, the spark. Surprised by the warmth of the flame.

Morgan set down the pen. She was busy, she thought, but not for the sake of being busy. Busy because life was full and exciting. Her life had more than a spark. It had light.

“Joey,” she said, “Let’s go for a walk.”

Day Thirty

Thirty-One, A Novel

Day One
Day Two  
Day Three
Day Four
Day Five
Day Six
Day Seven
Day Eight
Day Nine
Day Ten
Day Eleven
Day Twelve
Day Thirteen
Day Fourteen
Day Fifteen
Day Sixteen
Day Seventeen
Day Eighteen
Day Nineteen
Day Twenty
Day Twenty-One
Day Twenty-Two
Day Twenty-Three
Day Twenty-Four
Day Twenty-Five
Day Twenty-Six
Day Twenty-Seven
Day Twenty-Eight
Day Twenty-Nine


Day Thirty, Tuesday

The key twisted in the lock with a click. Joey, at her feet, pranced and panted, excited to be going home. As Morgan opened the door, Joey bolted inside and skidded on the empty floor. She spun to turn down the hall, heading for Jimmy’s room. No one there. She snuffled along the floor, smelling, searching. Each bedroom, empty. Confused, she ran the loop through the kitchen and dining room. Barely making the corner, she bounced off the door frame.

Morgan called her over and squatted down to talk to her. “They are gone, girl. I know it is strange, but it is just you and me now.” She ruffled her ears, digging her fingers deep into the fur behind them. Joey leaned into the scratch. “We’ll be okay, you and me, once we get used to this. Today, I have to clean this place. The owner is coming at three to inspect and pick up the key. Let’s go out back for a little bit, then I’ll get started.” She walked through the kitchen, opened the back door. Joey ran out, made a circuit around the yard, checking, smelling, still searching. No one, nothing. She walked over to the patio and sat, staring out toward the yard, waiting.

The cleaning supplies were in the pantry cupboard. Morgan picked them up, left the back door open so Joey could come in when she wanted, and went to work. Through the morning, Joey would come to check on her. She would always stop, talk to her, pet her, reassure her, ache with her. But they would be okay. She kept telling Joey that, more to reassure herself. She needed someone to tell her that, too.

The work went quickly. Cleaning an empty house is a breeze, she thought. “C’mon Joey, let’s go get some lunch. I have some treats for you, and I imagine you are thirsty.” They stood on the front porch a moment. Morgan looked across the street to her own house. My home, she thought. “That is your home now, too,” she said to Joey.  The puppy looked up at her and wagged her tail. “So, let’s go settle in together, what do you say?” She locked the door behind her, trying not to look back, but to look forward. Ahead.

The afternoon was quiet. Even the town seemed more still than usual today. It all felt so empty. They sat out on the patio, Joey sprawled on her side in a patch of sunlight, Morgan with her feet up on another chair, reading Winter Solstice. She hoped for a happy ending. She could use a happy ending today.

Day Twenty-Nine

Thirty-One, A Novel
Two quick reminders, these daily chapters are posted consecutively at wordsbymo.blogspot.com.
And, the other 31 Day bloggers are finishing up their posts at The Nester.

Day One
Day Two  
Day Three
Day Four
Day Five
Day Six
Day Seven
Day Eight
Day Nine
Day Ten
Day Eleven
Day Twelve
Day Thirteen
Day Fourteen
Day Fifteen
Day Sixteen
Day Seventeen
Day Eighteen
Day Nineteen
Day Twenty
Day Twenty-One
Day Twenty-Two
Day Twenty-Three
Day Twenty-Four
Day Twenty-Five
Day Twenty-Six
Day Twenty-Seven
Day Twenty-Eight


Day Twenty-Nine, Monday

Nancy and the kids were leaving today. Joey, coming to stay. She wished, for the kids, that they could have kept Joey. But, for herself, she was glad the puppy was staying. It would give her a little bit of them to keep close.

The deep window-rattling rumble of the truck let her know it had arrived. The movers would load the truck, drive a few miles and unload it into a storage unit, stored until they knew where they would be next. Yesterday, a container had arrived for the stuff that was being shipped to Germany.  Their suitcases were stacked in a pile in the dining room. Morgan would take them to the airport at eight o’clock tonight, for an overnight flight. And tomorrow, they would be in Germany. Their house would be empty.

Nancy asked Morgan to help with the kitchen. The cupboards still needed to be emptied. The dishes were packed, but not all the food stuff. Because they couldn’t take any food with them, Morgan boxed it up to take to a church that had a soup kitchen. Tomorrow, not today. Today was busy enough. Loose ends. No matter how organized and efficient and planned, there were always loose ends.

The kids were excited to go see their dad, to go to Europe, to fly in a plane, to wonder and talk and imagine what it would be like. But they were sad, too, and the tensions stretched all of their limits. At lunchtime, they all trooped over to Morgan’s. All of Joey’s bedding and leash and collar and bowls and food went, too. Joey was excited, a part of all the activity. They were all back and forth across the street often, carrying the food stuff over, keeping Jimmy busy and out of the way.

By four, the moving van was ready to pull out. Nancy gave them directions to the storage unit. Sarah, Johnny, Jimmy, Nancy, Morgan and Joey stood on the sidewalk and watched it drive away, lumbering slowly down the street, shifting gears as it swung around the corner. It disappeared. They could still hear it, but it was out of sight. Gone. All their stuff, for an unknown time.

“Well, it will be better than Christmas when you get to unpack all that, somewhere,” said Morgan, attempting to sound cheerful.

"No, I am going to have Christmas in Germany," said Jimmy.

Nancy sighed. They were all exhausted. “I want to make one more pass through the house, checking cupboards and closets. Then, Morgan, may we put our suitcases in your car and come to your house? I would like to lock our door for good, and try not to think about it again.”

“Of course. I’ll go start dinner, come over whenever you are ready.”

Day Twenty-Eight

Thirty-One, A Novel

Day One
Day Two  
Day Three
Day Four
Day Five
Day Six
Day Seven
Day Eight
Day Nine
Day Ten
Day Eleven
Day Twelve
Day Thirteen
Day Fourteen
Day Fifteen
Day Sixteen
Day Seventeen
Day Eighteen
Day Nineteen
Day Twenty
Day Twenty-One
Day Twenty-Two
Day Twenty-Three
Day Twenty-Four
Day Twenty-Five
Day Twenty-Six
Day Twenty-Seven


Day Twenty-Eight, Sunday

Sunday. Spend the afternoon at Sunnyside. Still can’t believe how much I enjoy those gals, Gertrude and Marie. I almost missed them, by not going. Wonder how much else in life I miss by not even trying, figuring it would be too hard or too uncomfortable or too much work. Or I am afraid.

These thoughts floated in her mind as she washed up the dishes and clipped a scraggly sunflower. She fluffed up the arrangement, admiring it. Sunflowers. She never got tired of them. Her favorite flower. Other gals could have their bouquet of roses. She would take sunflowers any day.

At Sunnyside, Morgan told Marie about the hike yesterday, about Jimmy insisting it was the ocean. Marie laughed, listening, but she seemed distracted. “What’s wrong?” Morgan asked her.

“I am tired, discouraged. Here, day after day, I sit in the chair, I lie in the bed, I walk twenty-one steps to the dining room and sit at the table. Morgan, you have no idea how much I enjoy you coming. Without you, here, to tell me about life out there, I would feel lost. Useless.”

“Useless,” repeated Morgan. “That is how I have felt, as if all I used to do, what was my world, who I used to be, is gone, lost. What do I do now? I take care of my house, my plants, but shouldn’t there be more than that?”

Marie said, “When you have a house full of little ones, your days are full. You are busy. When they get older, your days get emptier and you have to find a new measure of value. The connections you make, not just being busy, that is what is important. Now, I have a different challenge to find worth. Seems to be part of growing oIder. I guess we both, in our own ways, find it hard to feel useful.”

Morgan shared her idea from yesterday, of the two-sided coin, the vastness and the smallness. How the perspective made such a difference.  “ Marie, you have a large heart. You do connect with those around you. And that is what matters. You still have so much to share, so much love to give. You have given me more than you can know. My little, narrow world has become much bigger, and that is because of you, and Gertrude, too. Don’t be discouraged. Your life is valuable, to me, and others. You are still useful.”

“And Morgan, I can say the same for you. You are valuable, too, to me.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Morgan saw a gal walk by in the hall with a big Golden Retriever. She told Marie, “There is a dog out in the hall.”

“Oh yes, she brings her dog in to visit us. The dog is Brandy. She lets us pet her, talk to her. I can’t see her wag her tail, but I can feel it in her body, her sides wagging back and forth.”

“Really? I wouldn’t think the health department would allow dogs in a place like this.”

“They are certified, or something, part of an organization that goes to visit at homes, hospitals, schools, even jails, I think.”

“Interesting. Maybe I’ll get a chance to meet her.”

“Meet who?” said the gal as she walked in with Brandy.

“Meet Brandy. Marie was just telling me about her.”

Brandy did wag her whole body. The red vest she wore said, “Pets As Partners.” She greeted Morgan, then walked over to Marie. She put her chin on Marie’s knee, looking up at her with big brown eyes. Marie stroked her head, talking softly to her.

“Marie said you go to other places, too, to visit. Brandy must like to get out and go places.”

“Yes. She has been trained, knows how to behave, what to expect, what to do. She is a good girl.” Brandy wagged her tail. “Dogs make an easy connection with people. They seem to have an innate understanding of just how much attention each person needs.”

“Connection. Marie and I were just talking about that. What kind of training did she have?” asked Morgan.

“Basic obedience, polite behavior, good manners, simple stuff. Health certifications. Some of the dogs become much more advanced to be service dogs, do specific tasks. I just wanted to go visiting with Brandy, so we just did the basic stuff. We go to reminder classes once in awhile with other dogs in the group.”

Morgan said, “I am getting a puppy tomorrow, a lab. What would it take to train her, like Brandy?”

“Bring her to our next meeting. They are starting a new series of training classes on Monday evenings, they start the fifth of November. The first one is just information, getting to know what is expected, meeting some of the others. Here. I have a card, you can call that number to reserve a spot. How old is the puppy?”

“Five months, I think.”

“That is perfect. And labs are good dogs. They love to socialize. Happy dogs. Then you could bring her along when you visit.”

“That sounds really good. I wouldn’t have to leave her at home. It would give us both something to do, something more to think about. I like that idea. I had no idea this was possible, it is amazing.”

“Call the office tomorrow. They will set you up. Maybe I’ll see you there. I am Sandy, by the way.”

Day Twenty-Seven

Thirty-One, A Novel

Day One
Day Two  
Day Three
Day Four
Day Five
Day Six
Day Seven
Day Eight
Day Nine
Day Ten
Day Eleven
Day Twelve
Day Thirteen
Day Fourteen
Day Fifteen
Day Sixteen
Day Seventeen
Day Eighteen
Day Nineteen
Day Twenty
Day Twenty-One
Day Twenty-Two
Day Twenty-Three
Day Twenty-Four
Day Twenty-Five
Day Twenty-Six


Day Twenty-Seven, Saturday

Morgan was sore when she woke up. A long day yesterday. She and Shandra had worked all day. Sammy followed her to each room, getting underfoot, asking for a pat, wagging his tail whenever she talked to him. Guess dogs do like me, if I like them, she thought.

After the party rental truck arrived, she worked in the kitchen, arranging trays of cut vegetables, mixing dips, and making a new list for Shandra so in the morning, she could go straight down the list, setting up the food items. She made notes as to where she put things like the bags of chips, and she put the big bowls she found next to each item to make it extra easy. Shandra invited her to come help, but Morgan declined, saying she already had plans for the day. It made her think though, to add party organization to her possible business plan list. The extra money Shandra paid her would enable her to take Nancy and the kids out to a special restaurant for dinner after their hike.

At nine, Nancy and the kids loaded in to Nancy’s car, since Morgan’s car wasn’t big enough for all of them and Joey.  They drove across town, turned up highway twenty-four, a few turns, and left to Gold Road. A few miles down, a parking lot held about twenty cars, parked in a row. One family was distributing water bottles, putting the baby in the backpack carrier, and leashing their dog.

“Look, their dog has a red leash and collar just like Joey,” said Jimmy.

“So?” said Johnny. “Do you know how many dogs have red collars? Thousands.”

“Hey guys. Today is for fun. No teasing, no arguing. Okay?” said Nancy.

They all grunted. For a moment, Morgan doubted the wisdom of this hike. But once they were out of the car, packing up their water bottles and getting Joey ready, they were eager to go. It was an uphill climb, over rocky terrain, loose gravel and steep dirt paths. It didn’t take long to begin to see out across the open plains. As the long range views came into sight, they identified familiar landmarks, tried to figure where their house was located. Some of the trees still held their fall colors, though most of them were bare. The scent of winter was in the air, with the warmth of fall still hanging on.

At one turn, Jimmy stood, quiet and still. “Is that the ocean?” he asked.

“No, the ocean is two thousand miles away. Across a whole lot of states from here.”

“It looks like the ocean. I think it is the ocean. I can see the ocean from here! Wow!”

“Jimmy, it is not the ocean. It is Colorado and Kansas, and many states beyond that before you get to the Atlantic Ocean,” Nancy told him.

“I still think it is the ocean. I see it. It is blue and it goes on forever. Hey, I can see Germany!”

“Well, let’s keep hiking. The top is farther, still,” said Morgan to distract him. The kids complained about the climb. It was too steep, too hot, too dusty. Joey wasn’t complaining. Her tongue was hanging out of her mouth, a sign she was very, very happy. Several groups of mountain bikers rode past. The kids were impressed with that, saying it must be much harder than hiking the trail.

“I can’t believe they actually ride their bikes across these rocks,” said Johnny.

A track team ran by them. The gals had their shirt sleeves pulled up around their shoulders, most of the guys had their shirts off, tucked in their shorts, swinging behind them like tails. Sarah watched them go past. “It is hard to complain about walking this trail when others run by you, and they make it look easy. Even fun. Wonder how often they come up here and run this? Looks like they do it every day.”

At the top, they ate snacks, sipped their waters. They sat a long time on the rocks overlooking the valley below, the plains beyond. It was an amazing view. Morgan decided she would come back up here, with Joey, more often. The perspective, the distance, made it hard to view life as narrow or small. Or, the opposite, it made your life look small, compared to the vastness. She couldn’t decide which was accurate, settled on both of them, like two sides of a coin.

Day Twenty-Six

Thirty-One, A Novel

Day One
Day Two  
Day Three
Day Four
Day Five
Day Six
Day Seven
Day Eight
Day Nine
Day Ten
Day Eleven
Day Twelve
Day Thirteen
Day Fourteen
Day Fifteen
Day Sixteen
Day Seventeen
Day Eighteen
Day Nineteen
Day Twenty
Day Twenty-One
Day Twenty-Two
Day Twenty-Three
Day Twenty-Four
Day Twenty-Five


Day Twenty-Six, Friday

Wow – three days in a row of journaling. Maybe this is a new habit. Hope so, the more I write in this pretty little book, the more I enjoy the process. Instead of talking to my plants or my quiet house, I can dialogue here, a pleasant conversation with a close friend, who surprisingly, is myself. If someone told me that, I would think they were strange. Reality, though, it is good. Healthy. 

Not much time to write this morning. I told the two new cleaning gals I couldn’t clean until November, but one of them begged and pleaded and offered to pay me a huge bonus if I came today. She’s having a party this weekend, desperately needs my help, not just cleaning, but preparing stuff for her big gathering. So, I’ll be working all day at her house. Will be exhausting, but kind of fun, organizing and making her place party-ready. Wonder what her house is like? Will find out in thirty minutes.

Morgan pulled up to the address. The streets in the development circled and looped around, with only one way in. It took her two tries to find the house. She was impressed. It looked immaculate. The yard, perfect.  If the inside looks as nice, this will be an easy job, she thought.

Her knock on the door was answered by raucous barking. Uh-oh. Hope this dog is as friendly as Joey. Sounds quite a bit bigger, thought Morgan.

From inside, a woman’s voice shouted, “Sammy, hush! Get back from the door, you brute.” The door opened. The woman held a huge German Shepherd by the collar. “Morgan? Hi. Come in, just step in here, let him sniff your hand, he won’t bite, that’s right, see, Sammy, she is okay, you don’t need to eat her.” The dog’s tail wagged, thumping against the wall. She let go of the collar, extended her hand. “I am Shandra, sorry about the welcome. So, so glad you could come today, Morgan, I love your name. I am going crazy. Could not have done this by myself.  I have a list pages long, and can’t seem to know where to start. Madness. What was I thinking when I agreed to do this at my house?” She rattled on, barely breathing between sentences. Maybe they weren’t even sentences, just ramblings.

Morgan took off her sweater, hung it on the row of hooks behind the door. “Well, how about you show me your list, we’ll decide where to start, and see what you want me to do.”

“That would be wonderful. Would you like a cup of coffee, I just brewed a new pot. I am on my third pot just by myself, felt like I needed the extra energy today.”

That would explain the rambling sentences, thought Morgan. She smiled. “Maybe you could give me a brief tour, first, and then we’ll look at the list?”

“Good idea.” Shandra gave her a quick pass through the house and a large, covered patio off the back of the house, bordered with potted plants, two sets of patio tables and chairs, and an outdoor couch. “We will have drinks and some snacks set up out here, it is supposed to be a warm day, not too cold, but we may have to change plans if it gets too chilly or too windy. It is late in the year, but this is so pretty out here, and we have lights hung all around the edge of the roof, and there are still flowers blooming, and it is comfortable here.”

“Okay, let’s look at your list,” said Morgan. She could see this was going to take some organizing, but it would be fun, and she could use that cup of coffee.

For these daily chapters posted in consecutive order, go to wordsbymo.blogspot.com.

Day Twenty-Five

Thirty-One, A Novel

Day One
Day Two  
Day Three
Day Four
Day Five
Day Six
Day Seven
Day Eight
Day Nine
Day Ten
Day Eleven
Day Twelve
Day Thirteen
Day Fourteen
Day Fifteen
Day Sixteen
Day Seventeen
Day Eighteen
Day Nineteen
Day Twenty
Day Twenty-One
Day Twenty-Two
Day Twenty-Three
Day Twenty-Four


Day Twenty-Five, Thursday

Morgan wrote in her journal.  Late evening. So many thoughts ranging around in my head. Will try to get some down on paper.

At Sunnyside today, Marie talked and talked. I held her hand, she held mine. The connection, perhaps because she is blind, seems extra important to her. I think, though, really, they all need it. A hand that isn’t doing something to them. A hand, just to hold, just to be there, to touch and talk about whatever. So much is on their minds. To look at them, on the surface, you’d think they are bored and boring. But they are not. They are deep wells.

Marie talked about why she had to come live there, at the Home. Funny word for the place, Home. An effort, I guess, at making it what it isn’t. Yet it is, to them.

 A neighbor came over one day, to bring her some fruit from her tree. When she put it in the frig, she was shocked to see the refriegerator empty.  She asked her what she ate. Marie told her she cooked rice, or opened a can of beans. The gal looked in her cupboards. They were almost empty, too, with nothing on the higher shelves. “I can’t reach those,” Marie had told her. Soon, she had to ask for help, often. Her children were too distant. The neighbor lady had been very helpful and willing, but one day she sat her down and told her it was too dangerous for Marie to live alone. She took her to Sunnyside, where she knew Clarisse. They talked and planned. Marie rented out her house, she couldn’t bear to sell it, and it gave her a little income to help each month. Two weeks later, here she was.  A strange turn of life.

Marie didn’t seem sad about it, she seemed grateful. It left me feeling sad, though, wondering about life. It also gave me an idea. Another business idea. For older people, ones who are mostly capable, but who have a hard time keeping up a house, cooking, gardening, the things that are hard on older bodies. I could run a service for them. Grocery shopping, errands that they need to run, cleaning, weeding, cooking. I couldn’t charge much, volunteer would be ideal, but maybe I should charge a little. I don’t know, will have to think about this. I am sure there are a lot of older people who need tasks done, and don’t have family or those who help them regularly. Even checking in with them each day to see how they are doing. How would I connect with them? Word of mouth is always best, I don’t want to advertise, just build up as I go.

Looking forward to Saturday. Taking Nancy and the kids and Joey on a hike in the mountains. They need a break from their packing and I (selfishly) want one more day to spend with them, a good memory. Funny, I didn’t even know their names just a few weeks ago. Now they are special friends, I love them all. Will miss them.

And, a few more for my thankful list: 
my health, 
strength, 
working in the garden, 
a bouquet of sunflowers, 
a warm mug of coffee, 
feeling loved – again.