A Walking Stick

"Take this stroll through life; take a pencil as a walking stick."

-Jeff Olson, The Slight Edge 

We walk the dog, most days. We walk and talk, the son and I, about his Civil Air Patrol experiences, about the latest book he is reading, about news clips and how it will affect us, or not. Or, we just walk and gaze at the mountains, the space around us, the sky - if there is the sound of a plane or jet or helicopter, he looks until he spots it in the wide expanse of sky. The dog, she loves to get out, especially in the two open fields where we can let her off leash and she bounds around us. Blind, she bounds ahead and then back to make sure she knows where we are, staying on the familiar gravel of the path, feeling her way along, sensing somehow when it is time to turn back toward the road home, time to clip on her leash.

For me, the walk is a good time to clear my head. Release the tensions. To not think about what needs to be done back at home; instead, to absorb the space and the sky and soar with the birds.

Our daughter sent me this quote from The Slight Edge, a book we have both read, about motivation and working toward our goals, little steps at a time. She commented, "You don't have to draw life, you can write it out. Cameras can't catch how you feel when you see something picture worthy."

 The art of keeping a journal starts with the art of capturing our feelings, our responses to the life happening around us. Sometimes, I need to set aside the pen, the camera, the computer and pay attention to what is going on in the people, the sky, the animals, the plants around me. Pay attention to how I feel.

 Pick up that pencil walking stick: walk, talk, breathe, look and see, really see what is around you. Then, there will be words to express the feelings, the scenes, the events of daily life.


 

Unfrozen

Some days I am frozen. Stiff, immobilized, inflexible. Cold, rigid, hard. Numb.

I am not referring to winter weather.

This is a state of mind. Unable to think. Overwhelmed. Afraid to move forward, not willing to turn back. Stuck. Right where I am. Unwilling. A statue, with nothing to say or think.

Picture an ice sculpture on a well laden table at a high-end banquet. The carved ice is there, an elaborate decoration, not really for a purpose. Just there. Some days, that statue is me. No creativity. No imagination. No excitement at the joy of life.

Don't have a photo of a fancy ice sculpture. Will a snowman do?

How to melt my frozen heart and mind?

These are ways I have found to shovel the snow, begin the thaw and conceive  growth.

• Exercise. Some (most!) mornings I do not want to get up early. I know, though, that it always feels worth it after the exercise session. I have to think ahead while I put on my exercise clothes and push play on the DVD. Go through the motions - the motion will create warmth to melt the stiffness.
• Read. My morning Bible and devotional reading (Valley of Vision, now),  sparks life and reminds me of the Lord's love and care. Later in the day, time to read, alternating fiction and non-fiction inspires me, challenges me, offers plenty to think about. 
• Prayer. Reaching outside of my narrow short-sighted world, alert, aware of the needs of others.
• Reach Out. When I would rather hide, connect with others: make a phone call to distant family, write a letter, send an e-mail, play a game with the kids, reach beyond myself, extend a hand to others.
• Organize. I know, this is strange to include in this list. I am learning (a long process), that less stuff is liberating and that empty space breathes life and energy and creativity into my days. I have been dreading a project, cleaning out our floor to ceiling linen closet. I would open the doors, stand there and look, unable to move. Overwhelmed. For weeks. Finally, I took a deep breath, carried armloads to the table, sorted into piles, got rid of at least half of each pile, some much more. The momentum carried me on. Took me about an hour, a task I'd been procrastinating way too long. Motivates me to liberate the next area.
• Music. I miss having a piano and hearing the kids play for hours each day. But, I have CD's downloaded on my computer, a wide variety of styles, depending on the mood. Our son has picked up his mandolin again. I like hearing him pick at the strings, feeling his way through a song.
• Write. Journal, characters, scenes, free-writing, like limbering exercises. Just start, that's the hardest part. Pick up the pen, plink on the keyboard.
• Lighten Up. Laugh, smile, throw a snowball. Don't be so serious. Seriously!

The frozen ground yields to the warm breeze, the sun, dappled through the trees melts away the ice. The hard dirt loosens, allowing growth to spring up, new life to stir and produce. Fresh ideas take root and come alive. Unfrozen.
Are there are other (maybe better) ways you become unfrozen?

Fierce

Fierce.
A scary word.
An angry word.
A strong word.

 I saw this word used in an unexpected way. I love it when unrelated blog posts are related, like people writing on a similar theme and they connect. At least in my head, they connect.

Rachelle Gardner, a literary agent, posted a quote from Ira Glass, a radio announcer. Click here to see her link:http://www.rachellegardner.com/2011/10/advice-for-beginning-storytellers/. This is a transcript from a u-tube interview. On the video, he elaborates that we must fight for our goals, little by little, over time. "It's gonna take awhile...You've just gotta fight your way through. Be fierce. Be a warrrior."

This week, on TheNester.com, she posted the same interview with the video transcript done in a creative variety of fonts:http://www.thenester.com/2011/10/31-days-day-18-fight-your-way.html. Fight Your Way.

Also on The Nester, she wrote another post about using the limitation of time. "Do you feel led to write a book, start a ministry, invest in friends? Maybe you feel led to be a room mom. How much time a month are you fiercely protecting to do that Thing which you feel called to do?" http://www.incourage.me/2011/10/lovely-limitations-12-days-a-month.html

A radio announcer, a book agent, a popular blog writer, all saying a similar thing. Decide. Fight. Protect your time. Fiercely.

Our black kitty is fierce. Or so he thinks. We try to make sure he is in before dark. If we forget, his mournful yowling alerts us to his presence outside and his tough-guy stance against the neighbor's cat intruding into his yard. Really, he is just a big old (he is 15 or 16) baby with an attitude. But his attitude helps him be tough when he needs to - protecting his space in our yard.

What am I challenged to fiercely protect? My exercise time in the early mornings. When it gets derailed due to schedule changes, I can't wait to get back into the routine. When I wake up early, I actually want to put on the exercise clothes and get started. Strange, I know. Wouldn't have thought it possible. When I can't, I want to.

And, the family, the home we are building here. Time spent with them, reading, playing games, talking, doing stuff together, before they all move on. I know for a fact how fast that time goes.

I wish I could say I protect my writing time fiercely. Another blog post this week, a guest post on Michael Hyatt's blog, wrote that the one thing needed is courage. If you are attempting to establish a new habit, the thing most needed is courage.   http://michaelhyatt.com/one-thing-you-must-have-to-get-fit.html. The courage to take those little steps, to schedule the time, to eliminate at least one excuse.

So, I am tackling my writing time this week. Having the boys accept that from this time to this time I will be at my desk. And, protecting that time, fiercely. With courage. Establishing a solid habit, just like I have been able to do (with the help of our daughters) over the last year and a half with my exercise time.  One day at a time, one hour at a time, building the habit, making it happen. With courage. Fiercely. A gentle warrior.

What new habits would you want to tackle, fiercely?

Half-Crazy

Two of the kids ran the half-marathon in Long Beach this weekend, 13.1 miles, or 20k, "because I am only HALF Crazy" as it says on her headband. Our daughter flew in from Colorado, her brother joined her in the challenge. What motivates someone to run a marathon? There were 30,000 participants: marathoners, half, 5k, walkers and a bicycle route. We were advised to get there early and even though we left an hour before we'd planned, this is what we met.

Sitting on the freeway. It took one hour to go four miles, all the cars funneling into one lane to get to the downtown area, the parking, and the race events.

I went to cheer them on and enjoy watching the crowds. Could have been a fun study just in the t-shirts the runners wore; "If found lying on road, drag across the finish line."
The strangest runners I saw? A man running, balancing a watermelon on his head!? Didn't get a photo. Was too busy trying to figure out if he had it glued on to his hat or if he was actually balancing it, his neck twisted at an angle to hold it there.
Second prize goes to a man running backwards - yes, backwards- wearing skin tight leopard print leotards. No photo of him either...

A local children's hospital drew and painted the artwork copied onto each mile marker. Their full-size canvas painted posters were hung along the route, adding color and creativity to the already busy scene.

Participants ranged all ages, kids to octogenarians. Two much older gentlemen ran alongside each other, chatting, teasing, challenging the other, laughing, like running a marathon was an everyday ho-hum event.

Toe Tags

Coming around the last corner, the last stretch to the finish line. Marathoners and Half runners finished at the same point. The route went around the marina, along the beach path, and looped back through town to this almost-done point, 13.1 miles, 26.2 miles for the full marathon. They wore a tag on their shoes that contained a chip which recorded their personal start and finish times as they crossed the line.

Coming to the end of the run, the first marathon runners coming in at the same time, just under three hours.

She's almost there!

The crowds connecting with their completed runners, congratulating and cheering for them.

Participation medals, a job well done.

What motivates the wide variety of individuals? The young, the old, the wheelchair athletes, the groups supporting various causes; they would each have their own story, their own reasons. Each of them has something in common: finding the strength to push themselves, to dig deeper and bring it on, to know that each step, each pace brings them a little closer to the finish line and a deep sense of accomplishment. They did it!

June 2nd, One Year

This post has been harder to write than I thought it would be.  One year ago today, I began a serious program of weight loss and exercise.  For the effort, I have lost 42 pounds and dropped four sizes and twenty-three and one half inches overall.

Why is it hard to write?  Because I wish I had more to show, had done more, had worked harder, had been more consistent, had bigger results - the Perfection Monster rears it's ugly head!  Argh!  Must remind myself, this is a mile-marker along the way, I am not "there" yet.  On our recent six hour drive to Arizona, we could tick off the miles watching the mile markers as we neared the state border.  Thirty, twenty-nine, twenty-eight, twenty-seven.  Which is what I'll be doing on the scale as I count off the last thirty pounds.  And, if it takes me another year, well, there will be thirty pounds less of me to cart around.

This date reminds me to re-commit and confirm my goals. It is an expression of gratitude to the Lord to care for the body He has given me.  This daily effort is not for vanity, but for strength and health and to be well-equipped to do my job as home-builder, mom, wife, writer, grammie, and any other hats I wear.

My nutritional goal is to eat for nutrition.  That sounds redundant, but it takes my focus off what I "feel" like eating, what sounds yummy, comfort food, emotional eating, or bored, restless eating.  Instead, I evaluate if this food I am putting in my mouth will build health, strength, energy and leanness. Sometimes, more often than it should be, the answer is no, but it is a direction, a goal.  Note: fortunately, chocolate is a nutritious, acceptable snack - occasionally.

These are the products we have used ( with our daughters) over the last year:
Shakeology, a powder mix for shakes (with fruit), once a day
Recovery Drink, a powder mix for replenishment after a tough, sweaty, intense work-out

Turbo Jam,  intense cardio kick boxing and strength building work-out DVDs
ChaleanExtreme, a program of weight lifting and cardio workout DVDs
TurboFire, a workout program of HIIT (high intensity interval training) DVDs.

I continue to do the modified version, just to be gentle on myself because of my age (OK, yes, I admit it) and because of weak abs, weak back and I want to be sure to build enough strength without injury.  It is still a good, sweaty, workout.
Also, walking almost every day, and an additional ab workout a couple times a week (AbJam from the Turbo Jam series).
All the above are from beachbody.com; if you have interest in any of it check out: beachbodycoach.com/travelighter

Losing weight and building fitness is work. I get sidetracked, out of balance, out of focus.  Often.  I am grateful for our daughters who have worked with me, one also losing forty pounds (click here for her link), the other working for strength and fitness.  The camaraderie is encouraging on the days I really don't feel like getting up at four-thirty.  Worth it?  Absolutely!  Still a long way to go?  Yes, but without looking back.

Change

     How many times do we say we want to do something, rather than just doing it?  I want to lose weight, I want to exercise, I want to clean out that cupboard, I want to call that old friend, I want to read that book...The art of switching our thinking from 'out there someday' to 'now' is a challenge.
     If we want to change, we need to think about the changes needed in order to make the change. If I want to change things in my life, I have to change the way I do things. Is the way we've been going a dead end, not getting us anywhere?

 Do you know what Albert Eintstein said about insanity?

 "The definition of insanity is doing the same things and expecting a  different outcome."  

     Ouch. If we want a different outcome, we must stop,

 turn,

move in a different direction.

     Think of a change you want to make.  Can you think of steps to take to do something differently to achieve that outcome?  Begin in little baby steps: eat a little less, exercise a little more, clean out three things a day from that cupboard, look up the friend's phone number, read ten pages a day of that book. Move in the direction you WANT to go, and guess what?  You'll get there!

More Means Less

Strange thing.  I lose more weight when I eat more, rather than less.  And, of course, I don't mean more ice cream, more sweets, or more helpings. But I do mean more:

• more often (every two to three hours, five times a day, 300 calories or so each time)
• more vegetables
• more fruits
• more protein (for me this has to be balanced with some carbohydrates or I get kind of "nutso")
• more exercise (two times daily)
• more water (one gallon daily, eight of these red glasses)

Lately, I hadn't been losing much, maybe a pound every week.  Still losing, but not enough.  I noticed that on the days I'd be too busy or not really hungry, I'd go too long without eating. Then I'd make bad choices and overeat or feel out-of-whack.  There seems to be an art, a trial-and-error to finding the balance point within my system, what works for me.

It's true - diets don't work.  You work.  And work hard.  It's a long, hard, day-in-day-out job, full of lots of little choices and lots of physical and mental and emotional effort to learn your body's point of balance and learn to not be overweight.  It's how I've lived for a long time, the overweight part, and it is a skill to learn to not be overweight any more.  The payoff for all the work?  Better health, energy, strength, and the confidence of knowing I can accomplish a tough, challenging task.
Brian Tracy, author of excellent motivational books like Eat That Frog! and Goals! says that,

"Persistence is self-discipline in action."

Once I realized that eating more would help me lose more, it gave me the motivation to continue attacking this weight goal loss head-on again and know that the seemingly little choices I make all day long will have the long term effects I want. Persistence.
More means more lost, traveling lighter.
*note: some people do very well on a high protein, low carb; I'm not demeaning that - the skill is finding what works to establish balance and health in your body system.

Soaring

I am not a runner.  Never have enjoyed running.  Walking is a different thing.  I love to walk.  Our early morning DVD exercise sessions are great, but often they are just plain hard, intense, sweaty work. We feel a sense of accomplishment when we're done, but I am very grateful for the daughters who do it with me.  Otherwise, I might opt out.
Our walks, though, I really look forward to.  The schoolwork is done for the day.  The morning errands (if any) have been run (driven, actually).  Dinner is defrosting or in process.  We can go.

I can set down the burdens and the work of the day and soar. If there has been a conflict or a crisis or an emotional challenge, I can set it down and fly with the birds above me. 

 I do not carry a load for long when we walk.  I set it aside and enjoy the space and the air and the sun and the view and the breathing and the muscles moving and the time to enjoy, just enjoy. I can look up and gain a bigger perspective on my minuscule problems. I have the freedom, as I walk, to rise above and take wing with the birds. To catch an updraft and glide effortlessly, and to soar.

*Thanks to our daughter, FireCrckrGrl for her iPhone photos and assistance.

Focused

When I am discouraged with the weight loss, I get mad. For three weeks of January, I didn't lose any weight, even though we were exercising every day and I was eating carefully. It made me more determined than ever to make this work, to fight through this struggle, to not give up, and to win.  Which, in this case, actually means lose! And now, because I persisted, I am winning by losing.

By "mad," I don't mean angry. When I looked up "mad" in the dictionary, it didn't fit what I meant, so I looked up similar words.  What I mean is "grit your teeth, undistracted, focused and intense."  In the dictionary, grit is defined as stubborn courage, perseverance, or to clench the teeth in anger or determination.
After dinner, our dog gets a piece of bread.  In the routine, which she looks forward to, Dad holds the bread above her nose while she has to sit and wait until he says, "OK."  She makes such funny faces, trying not to look at the bread, while focusing on it all the time.

"I won't look, I won't look."  That's what I mean by undistracted, focused.  One thought, one effort, "I will do this thing."


Or, our daughter as she is drawing and is completely absorbed in her creative effort, completely "right brain focused."

Or, the intense effort of a runner, eyes ahead on the finish line, pushing one step at a time across the course.

That is what this task of weight loss takes.  A mad, firm, focused determination of tough grit.
When winning is losing, I will win, little by little, step by step.