Windshield Goals

We have reached the end of February. Do you look at your New Year goals like this? Something you wrote down two months ago, part of the New Year planning, and now they are behind you. Unaccomplished. History. Looking backward instead of forward.

Donald Miller, on his Storyline blog, wrote a week long series, "Start Life Over." In the introductory post, he writes about the value of change, and he quotes two friends of his who own a successful restaurant. They said, "Life should be viewed similarly to how we look through the windshield of a car...the windshield is much larger than the rearview mirror."  Don adds, "Keep looking forward. Know where you are going and steer the car toward something new and exciting. And you can't do that if you're always looking in the rear view mirror."



I realized how often I think of my goals with a backwards thought. Guess that didn't work. What was I thinking? So much for that unrealistic time-frame. All those unfriendly failure words spoken in my head. But, instead, if I see them as Windshield Goals, the perspective changes. I am looking ahead, out the windshield, the road in front of me rather than behind. Any smart driver will tell you this is a much better way to drive - look through the windshield rather than the rear view mirror. Good driving involves a glance in the rear view mirror, but the attention is focused - forward. Of course, we say. But do we live that way?

Each day, on my daily list, I write my three main Windshield Goals as a reminder that I can take steps today toward them. Not big things, just little steps. And it moves me toward them, rather than seeing them disappear into the past, faded in the rear view mirror. The skill of resilience has its foundation in this, this ability to focus forward rather than on events of the past. How to navigate the next turn, the upcoming curve in the road? Focus ahead. Pay attention.

Sometimes, Windshield Goals can look like this. Blurred. Low visibility. Confused. Wish you were somewhere else. I took this photo last May. On the way home from a beautiful spring mountain drive, we encountered a surprise storm. Unexpected. Sudden. But we made it home, following the lines on the road, slowly, one mile at a time.

What if we looked at our goals as something in front of us? Ahead.

Forward looking.

Forward living.

Not full of regret or that sinking feeling, failed again.

Hope. Possibility. Do-able.

Try again.

Forward living. 

A much better choice.

This post is linked with Emily Freeman and Chatting At the Sky,

What We Learned in February.

Instead of feeling a failure, instead of those sinking regrests,

I can move forward.

For me, this is a huge lesson.

As Don said in his post, these paradigm shifts can change the way we view our lives, and the way we live our lives.

Green light ahead, GO!

Untie the Knots

Re-Focus

This week's Friday Five word was Focus. I had trouble focusing this week. As evidenced by the miscellaneous piles mounded on my desk. Too many projects going at once. Starting too many new projects. Scrambling to finish old projects so I can move on to the new projects. A mountain of library books to read. I realized something, they are all non-fiction: gardening, dog training, cookbooks, writing skills, motivational, home decorating, local hikes. No wonder I am having trouble reading them all. When I read that word, "focus," my first thought was the eye of a fly. You've seen them, I'm sure, magnified pictures of the eyeball of a fly with its thousands of mini-eyes looking everywhere. Which is why it is so hard to smash them with a fly swatter. See, even my writing is all over the place this week, attempting to look everywhere at once.

What to do about it? How to focus in on what I should be doing?

Start with the basics. These people, this house, this home. Cooking, cleaning, home teaching. Time with each individual. That pretty much fills my days.

I wrote before about the Pomodoro Technique. A method of short, timed, concentrated efforts. These are great, especially for those nagging jobs I just don't ever seem to get around to doing. Set the timer, focus for twenty-five minutes, get it done. Easy. Simple. But it takes the effort to set the timer and focus. It helps, knowing it is a short time. Okay, I'll give this twenty-five minutes. That's all. Makes if feel less overwhelming. More possible. There is a website, free information, lots of terrific ideas for help with priorities.

Last weekend, I filled a raised bed, planted seeds, moved two tomato plants and a nasturtium from pots. Here is the latest, today, my tiny lettuce seeds sprouting up. Still may be too late in the season to get away with producing anything from my small garden, but I am having fun - a race with the season.

My three favorite gardening books are:
Square Foot Gardening, by Mel Bartholomew
Passionate Gardening, Good Advice For Challenging Climates, by Lauren Springer and Rob Proctor
and a new favorite (one of my many current library books) Gardening on a Shoestring, by Rob Proctor.
Do you have favorite gardening books?

Focus. An art. A skill. Like any art or skill, it takes practice, technique, learning, failure, attempts again. Over and over. Re-focus.

Opportunity Cost

In an article I read, the term, "opportunity cost" was used. It sparked my interest. What does that mean?
It is a term from the confusing world of economics, a complex term that really evaluates a simple thing. It involves what is given up in order to follow a certain action. Or, what you could have gained by taking a different path. Opportunity cost evaluates what is given up or gained.

Investopedia.com used the example of a college education: the salary lost while in school, compensated by the possibly higher salary after the degree is earned. Or, a stock investment that earns a small percentage, compared with the higher percentage you could have earned in a bond, the difference being the opportunity cost.

Opportunity Cost is about choice. If we decide to grow carrots in our garden, rather than strawberries or chrysanthemums, the different result gives us the opportunity cost. A choice is required. Knowing the results would be helpful, but the option we choose will give us either benefit or loss.

Both Investopedia and Wikipedia discussed that opportunity cost goes beyond monetary or material values, which I was glad to see. This applies to anything of value: how we use our time, how we build relationships, how we use our creative energy, our efforts to build memories and establish foundations in our homes and families, all can be calculated with opportunity cost.

For those of you who are algebra fans, there is a formula (on Wikipedia) for calculating good y vs. good x relative to the good forgone. Or something like that. It was over my head, but their example of choosing between parties and a date and mathematically calculating the result was amusing.

Opportunity Cost: what is given up or what is gained. What does all this mean?

• A choice to spend the time talking with the kids when I would rather be [whatever] is weighed by the benefits to our family relationships
• A choice to browse through a magazine instead of cleaning the shower or organizing the shelves is evaluated by the loss of order and cleanliness in our home
• A choice as to how I spend my time in the afternoons will result in good management of the resources I have, or wasted resources (thank you for this idea, Deidra)
• Being aware of the long term value gained by time spent together, reading aloud, playing games, learning together, just doing stuff together
• Choosing to eat smart and exercise rather than indulge my sweet tooth and idleness will yield a better opportunity cost, long-range
• Money I spend on one thing will be money I cannot spend on something else, perhaps something more important

What opportunity cost choices do you think of? We all make choices every day. The results are seen in hindsight, but by thinking ahead and evaluating the value, the opportunity cost, of our choices, perhaps we will be able to make wiser decisions.

Walking On Water

This weekend I finished reading Walking on Water, by Madeleine L'Engle. She is a writer with depth and talent and insight who instills vision and hope and courage. As a woman who successfully worked as a writer while fulfilling her roles as wife, mom, homemaker and artist, she is one of my hero role models.

 I tried to come up with one good quote to share - a tough challenge - tempting to copy the whole book. Ended up with two quotes to share:

"To trust, to be truly whole, is also to let go whatever we may consider our qualifications. There's a paradox here, and a trap for the lazy. I do not need to be 'qualified' to play a Bach fugue on the piano (and playing a Bach fugue is for me an exercise in wholeness). But I cannot play that Bach fugue at all if I do no play the piano daily, if I do not practise my finger exercises. There are equivalents of finger exercises in the writing of books, the painting of portraits, the composing of a song. We do not need to be qualified; the gift is free; and yet we have to pay for it...for such understanding is a gift which comes when we let go, and listen."

"The paradox is that the creative process is incomplete unless the artist is, in the best and most proper sense of the word, a technician, one who knows the tools of his trade, has studied his techniques, is disciplined. One writer said, 'If I leave my work for a day, it leaves me for three.'...The moment of inspiration does not come to someone who lolls around expecting the gift to be free. It is no give-away. It is the pearl for which we have to pay a great price..."

Her analogy is that an artist must let go, trust, listen, seek, and have faith; then walk on the water as they create.

These blog posts are a way for me to do my finger exercises. Thanks to all of you for listening while I practice my scales and harmonies, learn my technique and run my fingers across the keyboard.

Tomatoes and Time

Have you heard of the Pomodoro Technique for time management? Pomodoro is Italian for tomato. What do tomatoes and time have in common?

Nothing, really, except for the tomato shaped kitchen timer a young man had on his desk. As a student in Italy, he observed that his own study habits, and the study habits of those around him, were ineffective. He decided to challenge his abilities to concentrate and focus by using a simple, non-high-tech tool to get things done. His method is easy to learn, with supplies already at hand. Today, he teaches this technique world wide to individuals and groups, helping them to "eliminate the anxiety of time," and "enhance focus and concentration."

What is a Pomodoro?  Five basic steps:

1. Choose a task to be accomplished
2. Set the Pomodoro (timer) to 25 minutes
3. Work on the task until the Pomodoro rings, then put a check on your sheet of paper
4. Take a short break (about 5 minutes)
5. Every 4 Pomodoros, take a longer break

I don't have the nifty tomato timer, but obviously, any timer will work. The point is to focus on the task for 25 minutes.

                   "I'll run downstairs and get another cup of coffee."

                   "No, you will work until the timer goes off."

                   "Oh, I need to call [someone]."

                   "Jot down a note-to-self, get on with the 25 minute focus."

                   "I'll never get this finished."

                    "25 minutes. That's all. Keep working."

On the website, www.pomodorotechnique.com there are downloadable forms, ideas and techniques, and an e-book to read (all free). He has a method for becoming aware of your internal interruptions (like my cup of coffee) and a way to handle the external interruptions ("Mom, can you help me with this?"). By marking little boxes for each Pomodoro on your list, then checking them off as completed, the paper becomes a visual lesson in the accuracy of estimating how long a task will take, and a record of exactly how much time you have worked.

(image from Amazon)

This method works especially well for me when I am working to establish a new habit or with a tough task I am procrastinating. I can clearly see that [this] task took me three Pomodoros, when I only expected it to take one. Or, it alleviates the impact of an overwhelming job - just 25 minutes, just 25 minutes and focus for that long: not until the whole thing is done, just 25 minutes. The smaller time frame makes for a do-able session. Rather than the weight of organizing the whole kitchen, a bite sized piece is one or two cupboards, whatever will fit in 25 minutes. 

Next time you are facing a task you don't want to do (like that I-don't-even-know-what's-in-it cupboard), or have a new habit to start (like writing in a journal), set the Pomodoro for 25 minutes,

 and Get it Done.

Change

     How many times do we say we want to do something, rather than just doing it?  I want to lose weight, I want to exercise, I want to clean out that cupboard, I want to call that old friend, I want to read that book...The art of switching our thinking from 'out there someday' to 'now' is a challenge.
     If we want to change, we need to think about the changes needed in order to make the change. If I want to change things in my life, I have to change the way I do things. Is the way we've been going a dead end, not getting us anywhere?

 Do you know what Albert Eintstein said about insanity?

 "The definition of insanity is doing the same things and expecting a  different outcome."  

     Ouch. If we want a different outcome, we must stop,

 turn,

move in a different direction.

     Think of a change you want to make.  Can you think of steps to take to do something differently to achieve that outcome?  Begin in little baby steps: eat a little less, exercise a little more, clean out three things a day from that cupboard, look up the friend's phone number, read ten pages a day of that book. Move in the direction you WANT to go, and guess what?  You'll get there!

An Olympic Moment

     I call it the Olympic Moment.  The moment when you know you have done your best, given it all; when you have worked and pushed and tried as hard as you possibly could, and succeeded.  Not necessarily won, but for you, you have done your absolute best and accomplished what you set out to do.  The sense of achievement, at that moment, is complete.


     Perhaps it is finishing a really tough class or a challenging task.  Or finding a new limit to push yourself to as you exercise.  Or digging deep within yourself to find the strength to make a tough choice.  Or running a marathon. It may be something official like a graduation or a promotion, or it may be something only you recognize.  But even on a private level, it can still be a major, memorable moment.
     When our daughter graduated high school as valedictorian, she received a medal that now sits on her dresser, a reminder of the hours of long, hard work it took to achieve it.

     This quote that I have on my desk reminds me that success is not about fame or popularity, but about determining and recognizing what is success for me.

"The real moment of success is not the moment  apparent to  the crowd."

             -George Bernard Shaw

     Personal Olympic moments are not about the notoriety or glory, but about achieving individual best. They are about the long hard road with many small skirmishes and victories along the way. About stretching your limits. About conquering an inner struggle and endeavoring to excel.
     On a small scale, it might be getting through the day with quiet calmness - for me that takes strength and effort. Or, making good food choices all day long - that also takes consistent, purposeful effort.
      And the result, will be a moment when I know it has all been worth it, when I know that my efforts have been successful, when I will pause, like that moment at the Olympics when everyone pauses to honor the national anthem, and know, absolutely know, the anthem of personal victory.
      What are your Olympic moments?